Miss Kansas Locked Eyes with Her Abuser Mid-Pageant. Then She 'Took Control of My Narrative' (Exclusive) (2024)

June 8, the final day of the Miss Kansas pageant, was “not a not a normal day” for Alexis Smith. Not only was the Butler Country representative competing for the crown, but her abuser happened to be in the audience as well.

But that didn’t stop Smith from standing up for herself onstage with a powerful speech, which has since gone viral.

“Some of you out in this audience saw me very emotional, because my abuser is here today. But that's not going to stop me from being on this Miss Kansas stage and representing as the next Miss Kansas," she said. "I and my community deserve healthy relationships. We deserve a domestic [violence]-free life.”

Smith tells PEOPLE she is glad her speech has touched so many people and that she hopes to use this opportunity to lift up other voices impacted by domestic violence.

“We really need to take the time to listen to survivors, listen to victims, and figure out what changes that we can create in our daily behaviors that potentially are adding into this chain effect of domestic violence,” she says.

At age 14, Smith entered into her first relationship. Unfortunately the relationship became abusive, and lasted for several years.

It is a cycle Smith is familiar with. She tells PEOPLE “every single important woman” in her life has been victimized by domestic violence, which has driven her passion to find solutions.

“One of the biggest misconceptions that I see is that if it's not physical violence, then it wasn't violence. But there are multiple different forms of abuse,” Smith explains, later adding, “There isn't a scale of what form of abuse or which form of abuse is a greater form of abuse than anything else.”

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Smith also joined the Miss America organization during her teenage years, eventually taking five years off to focus on school — and attempt to escape her abuser.

Eventually the relationship ended and in 2023, Smith rejoined the organization, first as Miss Wichita, and then as Ms. Butler County.

One thing she never anticipated was running into her abuser mid-competition. So when she locked eyes with him during an intermission number, she almost instantly became emotional.

Fortunately, she says, another delegate who is familiar with Smith’s story was nearby. Smith asked her to go down the stairs with her so she wouldn’t be alone, “and that's exactly what she did.”

Afterward, Smith tells PEOPLE her abuser was the “one thing” on her mind as the pageant continued. But she did not want to let this person “take control of my narrative,” or poison the space that she “worked so hard to get to.”

So when it came time for the interview portion of the Miss Kansas contest, Smith’s question hit home: “What will be your vision as the next brand ambassador for the Miss Kansas organization?”

As a Miss Kansas delegate, Smith developed a community service initiative called “Respect Reclaimed: Advocating For Healthy Relationships,” which aims to eliminate unhealthy and abusive relationships.

Smith not only doubled down on her platform when answering the question, she used the opportunity to call out her abuser once and for all.

Smith tells PEOPLE she “surprised” herself with her answer. “I think power just came over me and I said what I needed to say,” she recalls.

And the crowd showed her support, as well. That’s when Smith told herself, “Okay, what I'm doing is what I should be doing.”

Smith is proud of herself for standing up to her abuser, “because I would've never done that before that moment.”

Now, footage of her big speech is circulating the internet. Smith says she has been contacted by people “wanting to share their stories with me” as well as people interested in “talking about the impact that it's had on them.”

As Miss Kansas, Smith wants to “form a partnership with a national nonprofit” and have conversations about “how we can help each other” with addressing domestic violence.

“It's really important to remember that we need to keep the power and the choices in the hands of … those survivors and victims,” she tells PEOPLE.

Smith is also eager to work with young people through ventriloquism, which served as her talent for the Miss America competition. The goal, she says, is “to open the conversation of healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships” with the kids.

The Miss America organization, Smith says, has been “the perfect platform to be able to do this advocacy work.” She believes the Miss Kansas competition gave her a unique opportunity to speak out about an issue that is near and dear to her heart.

“If it wasn't for me being at Miss Kansas … who knows if I really would've been able to have that feeling of empowerment to take that power back and recognize that I am in charge of my life and the opportunities that are around me,” Smith adds.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go tothehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.